Useless.

People said I should move on. They said he's a jerk. They said he's worthless. They told me not to be stupid to show my sorrow. That he doesn't care anymore and I should act all happy. They told me to get over him. But until when? Until when?

He keeps showing up.

And I keep think about him.

Maybe he's changed, not the guy I fell in love with. But he looks PHYSICALLY exactly like the guy I fell in love with. Because he's the same guy except he has changed in virtue of his personality. I don't know how to describe it, it's just, he's not that good guy anymore.

He's a friend of bunch of jerks.

And he....

Already has a girlfriend.

And...

And they're happy together.

While me....

I'm a fool for still think about that jerk.

And I'm still an idiot.

I'm so sick of this. Sick sick sick. Don't tell me I've never tried. I've tried. I've tried so hard. I've tried for years.

And I'm so stupid for dating my best friend who I don't even love him in that way. A best friend forever a best friend and not more than that. No, I couldn't love him like that because, well, he's my best friend. No. And now I lost my best friend.

Now nothing can change anything. It's done.

But well, I'm almost fifteen. I still have long journey. Too long to think about this crap. There are so many useful things I can think about.

RIP the guy I fell in love with. Welcome to the world, jerk.