Yeah. Long time, REALLY long time no writing here. So in here, I want to talk about him for one last time. So that means, I'm going to be kind of much less sentimental. And I hope no tears will come out. Oh gosh. The only one him that I ever have feelings to. My first boyfriend was just a crush. But him, my second boyfriend, my first crush, my one and only love. Bluek.
When I was eleven, I started to notice him. He was in the same van I ride lol. So he stayed not so far away from my house. For me, he looked... mysterious :P . That time, okay. And he looked like the one who stays away from girls a lot. He looked... he just, I don't know. He caught my eyes :P . Even though it was impossible for me to talk to him, but I don't care. I asked my friend, she told me his name. So I thought "Oh, that's him.". At school, I looked at him and so as him. I quickly turned my gaze away from him.
And then, one day, I remember when I first started to talk to him. He was playing around with his friends in the van. I asked him to shut up and he said no. And... we began to fight lol. That was the how we fight every day. At school, god, he saw me, he ran with big smile. He tried to "lastik" me and I took the rubber band from his hand. Damn, I accidentally touched him. Hahaha. I had a crush on him. But that time my friend thought I like this my classmate who is also my first ex. Gahaha. That guy really liked me that time :P. But I lied to her, my friend, because she had a crush on the guy. So instead, I lied and said I like a guy who sit at my back. Also happened to be our close friend. But it's not true. I was too embarrassed to say I have a crush on a guy who is out of my league *that time. I studied hard to be in the class with him. The very him.
One year passed, I finally got to highest class. But he was in other high class. And me, my class just beside my first ex. Lalala. It was fun. I love being 12 :') . Really miss that time. I always tried to beat him in exam. At school, there was 5A and 4A badge, so I try. But, he got 5A and I got 4As. Pfft. And one day, my best friend told his best friend about that I like him. His best friend cheered and his best friend told him. His best friend told my best friend that he was smiling when his best friend told him I like him. Sigh. My best friend told me and only God knows how much I'm... hihi. Happy. And I received a love letter from him saying "I know you like me because I like you too. Iyou." I still remember his bad hand writing haha. But I threw it last year. And then we didn't talk much because we know our feelings towards each other. But I then I heard about he coupled with this girl, so I braced myself to asked him. I mean, finally talk to him (by email in MySpace -.-'). Plus, I have reason - my 2nd best friend had a crush on him and wanted to know is it true or now. So, I send a message, asked him, is it true or not. And he said yes. I was surprised and yeah, heartbroken. That girl was not for him. I know that. And that was how our friendship began. He asked for my phone number, I gave him, he texted me. he said he was going to switch school, I was frustrated haha.
And songs that I always listened that time about him are One In A Million (Hannah Montana), Get Back (Demi Lovato) and 7 Things (Miley Cyrus). Gosh, how I miss him so much.
And then a year passed, that was last year. I found out, he really did moved to other school. We keep texting every day. Then he started to go to boarding school. So, we just texted every week. He always text me first. Then he said he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. While me, I had a new boyfriend that time. God, he was kind of jerk the way he talked about his girlfriend. But that time I hated his gf so I just, let it be. They broke up finally. We were really close. I was kind of like the only girl he texted. I don't know. We text from day to night, gosh, really, I knew, he was into me :PP
And then I broke up with my boyfriend.
And after a few months, we played this game. Asking-asking thingy game. And he asked me who is my crush. I asked the same question back. He was desperate to know who was my crush. I promised to him I'll tell him my crush if he tells me first. He finally said he likes me. Oh gosh, heart beating, heart beating, heart beating! I said to him, I lied. The truth was, I had no crush. That was I said. He said 'cmon! you tricked me'. Then he asked me, "You like me?" and I was... speechless. I said I'll tell him. He kept texting me he waited for my answer. And finally, on the first day of mysterious month lol, I finally said, I like him, too, as a friend. Then he said, okay so he will like me as a friend too and won't communicate with me ever. I have no choice. I don't want to lose him so I said I love him (not cinta, but sayang :P), and he asked, as a friend or what? And I said, more than that. And said he loves me too and.... we were in relationship. He was so sweet, he always wanted to hear my voice and all.
But, I only treated him like a boyfriend for, I don't know, and then I just, I don't know. I didn't know how to be a girlfriend -.-' . Then I started to doubt my feelings.
After 3 months, I texted him saying that I wanted to be just friends. And he said 'Ok. No prob.'. And we continued to be just... friend.
But then, this year. He came back to this school. Damn it, I had feelings to him back. Then I heard he coupled with this one girl. I was like, WTF. That girl? Really, I tell you this, she is not his taste at all. But maybe because he was new and he was blind, up to you, stupid guy. Then I found out this one older girl than us likes him. Hohoho, that's funny.
I asked him about his relationship, he said yeah and said to me "Jealous?". Kurang gula kau sial. Of course not lolololol. (okay yes.) Oh, we never talked face to face. He said he was shy because I'm his ex. Yeah yeah yeah.
They broke up. Heep heep hoorraay. That girl so good for dumped him.
And then, after couple of months, he kept saying "I love you". You tricked me a lot of times, how can I believe you?! Want me to avada kedavra you?! No, not AVADIAR :P. Then he called me and say that word. I laughed like hell so I disconnected. That was funny. Berani kau eh. Until midnight, then I said I like him. And we were back together. But, he wasn't like what I thought. But I still loved him. DAMN NAJLA DAMN!
He didn't treat me really well. He's changed since he's in this school. But I wait and wait and just patience with him because I thought patience always worth. So I just keep loving him. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew eww :P
On his special day, we were... good. Yeah, better. Much romantic haha -.-
And then after a couple of weeks, we fought. And guess what? He brought up the past. Of how I treated him. Of how I broke up with him without think about his feelings. Excuse me, dude, if I'm not mistaken, you said 'Ok. No prob.' and we were just fine! GOD! And then he said he doesn't love me the way he did last year. Okay, thanks for being honest. I felt like... okay. Fine. Then like usual, he'll ended the text first. The worse thing is, he said 'Good night :D' . With that big smile. ASDFGHJKL .
Oh, did I mention WE NEVER TALK FACE TO FACE EVEN WE WERE IN RELATIONSHIP? BLAME HIM, HE'S THE GUY.
I don't know but... I cried. Because of him. When he ended conversation, I'll cry. And, we did talk on phone just once and that was lasted for only 3 minutes.
I AM THE MOST STUPIDEST GIRL. For falling for him. I am sorry for loving you.
And my best friend told him I cried, he did tried to comfort me. But how? Copy-pasting words proudly, and just changed topic and then bye-bye. Just like that. Okay, maybe I was paranoid. But I am quite touchy, so please...
Then after a week, he finally texted me after a week not talking to me and say 'Let's just be friends'. And then I said I don't want to have anything to do with him and he blamed me, saying I talked bad about him to my friends. I asked him when. He said he'd read my Facebook and Twitter. I said I didn't talk bad about him! I said I love him (YES, STUPID!) and he never replied me ever again. FUUUU. So I kept thinking he's a jerk so I got over him a bit.
After a couple of weeks we broke up, I finally go at front of him face to face asking what the hell is my offences and he just said because we never talked. And the way he talked, he just not much talk. Like... want or not. And giving lame answers. Shit, speak! Even if you wanted to avoid fights or to coward, at least speak you coward man. I asked him, are we still strangers or friends, he said let's be friends. I asked him this next will he talk to me? He said yeah. BUT NOPE. He never talk to me. Like usual. Still stranger I guess. And guess what? I looked at him on his face, really, he's not that handsome. Oh finally you notice, Najla. Your taste too high.
Damn it damn it. -.-
THE END.
